EFF YOU TRADER JOES!

This has been me for the past 24 hours thanks to Trader Effing Joe's!!! NEVER.. will I EVER purchase that nasty ass beef pastrami sandwhich from that hippie ass salmonella ecoli having store!! I have never in my life had a vomiting marathon like I did last night.I'm a girl on the go, so yes I eat some pre packaged sandwiches from deli sections..but I have learned my lesson ..I first noticed my tummy feeling insane an hour after i ate half that sandwhich while driving and telling my compadre on speaker phone that this is the best sandwhich ever.......irony... few hours later I went to the bathroom cuz i felt bubble guts and ended up vomiting  in the trash..I tried to keep my cool and continue to work in front of my co workers..but i couldnt do it,  I tried to head for the bathroom again but did not make it... I ended up vomiting all over myself and the damn floor in the hallaway with an audience. I apologized to the housekeepers ...and  got sent home. On my way home a cop pulls me over asks me if i'm drunk cuz im swerving, i tell him no i have been puking and i think i got food poisining and he looked  at me like i was a disease and said drive home safely...then i get home vomet all over the damn bathroom and clothes in front of company...and have been laid up in my bed ever since on a clear liquid diet.....So thank you to the dirty mother effer who did not wash his hands while making that sandwhich...but I will say , my stomach has never looked so flat and nice...

FIRE!! FIRE!! FIRE!!

looooll...this pooooorrr biooottchhh..you know she's excited. Just got her hair done, sitting there naked in the tub in  a  hotel in london at diddy's release party.. ..and the candle just wasn't having it and  pulled a michael jackson on her ass! Lit her weave on fiyyaahh! Hoe lesson 101.... weaves are flammable...and why didn't anybody grab a fire extingusher or try to help her out!? She was sitting in water for gods sake..dump your head in heffer!!! Game over!!! the whole looking cute part was over when your weave caught fire!!!

Dr. Tank

Who Knew this is what Tank was doing at his concerts..? So what kind of Doctor was he exactly?  A gynecologist..? Cuz I don't think you have to stick your head in that far to see your cervix! I hope that chick wasn't on the rag while he was all close like that! Not gonna lie tho, I blushed and got a little uncomfortable watching this like daammnnn........! ;-) but then reality started to kick in.. Tank is old. So he would get tired quick and probably breathe to heavy and the fantasy deteriorated from there. I don't even know why I bother with this imagination of mine...

Coochie boots

I was going thru concreteloop when I saw this chic and these boots...those are the ugliest boots I think I have ever seen in my life. They are not thigh high boots, they are coochie high boots.. how do you sit?? Does it rub up on it? Can you even cross your legs when you are sitting down because you are wearing a skirt.. or do you leave em spread.. soo many questions.. so little answers.. Guess I might have to tune in to Wendy Williams when this chic Laurie Ann Gibson promotes whatever so I can see how these boots function..

Hooker...

WTFFFFF....... Chelsea Handler wasn't lying when she said she likes her some black men..what an odd ass looking couple..Chelsea Handler always looks so old and un attractive and mouthy on her show , like a nagging granny...Guess 50 cent likes wrinkly, clammy, grilled cheese  vaginas....Men gross me out.. they will sleep with anything...yuck.

UTI's linked to High Heels... But ofcourse.

I swear..women get the short end of the stick.... we have periods, go thru labor pains, waxing and laser hair removal, stretchmarks, saggy ,now this......UTI's are now linked to wearing high heels!!!!!!....what next????? The news decided to ruin my life by letting me know wearing high heels are now linked to getting urinary tract infections...Which is BULL!!

Look what we have here.....

Very talented lady. Taste in men however... In the toilet! Is Brandy A) Trying to get in good to secure a future spot on the countdown on 106 and park. B) Desperate. Or C) Very Desperate.
If she had a brain I would have said A. But  because of my expertise knoweledge of being able to decipher body languages my answer is B and C.... I'm surprised. I personally thought Terrance J had a hint of homo in him (not that anything is wrong with that) he looks soft...